Limbo

I'm in it baby. If ever there was a woman more torn between two places, it's me. I have a small storage unit that holds mostly all of my worldly possessions and let me tell you, it's kind of depressing. To think that everything I own can fit into a 3 x 4 unit of space sums up the unimportance that is my life. It is a visual realization that I have really not accomplished anything substantial in all my 24 years on this planet. This, plus the fact that I have no real place of my own, is really starting to wear me down.

I did things a little backwards, granted, but I am more then ready to move forward. And yet, technically, I'm not. I don't have a degree, which I refuse to stop going to school until I have one (now that I spent all this money). I don't make enough money at my job to get an apartment and even if I worked two jobs and made enough money, I wouldn't have any money left to do little things I enjoy. Not to mention I have a zoo to support. One Oy, three cats and a horse. Luckily, I have a loving and supportive family who is currently housing all my animals and paying to feed them. Without my parents, I don't know what I would do. I digress.

I sleep at my boyfriend's grandmother's house (this is a whole other stew of problems that I won't get into now). However, my clothes are residing at my parent's house. So I wake up early in the morning, rush home to shower and change and then try to make it to my morning class. After class, I rush to work and stay there as long as possible because my hours are scarce and I need all I can get. When I leave work I head straight for my afternoon class. Once I am finally done with school for the day, I get to go home. But there is the kicker...where is home? I want to spend time with my gatos and Oy. They all need pets and attention and brushing and I want to be around them all the time generally. They are like my children. Then there is my horse; he needs food, his stall needs mucking out, he needs attention and the opportunity to go out on the trail (I tag along on his back). And last, but certainly not least, there is my boyfriend. Who needs love and attention and who I want to give all this love and attention to. It's not like I have a shortage of love, there is plenty to go around, but it is hard to manage my time so I don't feel like I am abandoning anyone. And not to sound selfish, but what about poor ol' me? When do I get time for myself? Well, I suppose tonight I got time to myself. I got to do some CSA101 homework and watch a movie with my boyfriend, but at the cost of not being at my parent's house today at all. I went all day without hugging my puppy dog or petting my cats or seeing my horse. I don't want to live in a world without any of them. If someone wins the lottery, please send some my way. I just want a house. A simple house to put all my loved ones in. kthnxbai.